When God Hides

 

The Valley of the Shadow of Death, George Inness, 1867

Looking back across my life and Christian walk, there have been a number of times when I have felt the presence of God in a powerful way. Sometimes it was in my personal time in prayer and meditation, and other times it was during times of corporate worship and large conferences with powerful preaching. It was as though God drew near and my heart burned with passion, joy, and peace, these were indelible, wonderful experiences.

But then there have been those times when it felt as if God left me alone in the dark, and I was plunged into "the valley of the shadow of death" (Psalm 23). I would reach out to God but could not feel him. I cried out to him, but my pleas went unanswered.

It would be wonderful if we could just stay up on the mountaintop all the time and dwell with God in the bright cloud. But the reality is that God does some of his most important work in us and through us down in the dark valley.

Recently I came across a passage of Scripture that spoke to this,

"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:  On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." (Job 23:8-10)

Have you ever felt like this? You look all around, but God is not there, as if he is purposefully hiding himself from you?

These verses were written by Job, who was chosen by God in a peculiar way to suffer. Job had not done anything wrong, he was a "perfect and upright man."  Nobody could accuse him of any sort of iniquity, great or small. But God allowed Satan to wreak havoc in his life. He lost all his property and children to natural disasters and enemy armies, and then his health was destroyed, and he was covered in painful sores. Finally, his bitter and angry wife told him to curse God and die. During his trials and tribulations, Job felt like God had abandoned him. He cried out to the heavens, but the heavens were made of brass. He prayed and prayed but his prayers just echoed in the silence. He was left alone in his anguish.

There have been many dark days in the midst of my addiction when I have had similar feelings. I felt beaten down, broken, as if darkness was closing in on every side. Despair filled my soul, and I wondered if life was worth living if I had to fight and struggle every day. In those dark days it felt like the Light of the world had gone out.

Why does God do this? Why does he hide himself from us?

There are many reasons for this. Job points out an important one, "When he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."  Job recognized that even if he could not perceive God, God was at work. God was testing him, purifying him, putting him through the ringer so that he could come out cleaner and more useful in the end.

When iron comes from the earth it is in the form of an ore, and in order to be useful that ore must be smashed and ground up and thrown into a blazing hot furnace, where the impurities are burned away, and the pure iron comes forth. Most of the time that iron then goes through another process where it is fused with oxygen to become steel, another high-energy, high-temperature process. Steel is much more useful than plain iron, but even then, in order to be useful that steel must forged, hammered, or molded to become the tools we use every day. It is a long, grueling process to go from common ore to kitchen knife.

When God is absent, when God is silent, that is when he is at work burning away our sins and character defects. He is hammering us into the best versions of ourselves, making us into beautiful, useful instruments that will bring glory to his name and greater good to the world. It is a long and painful process, and at times he hides his face so that our faith will grow stronger. He wants us to learn trust his goodness even if we cannot see him. There is an old saying, from a song I believe, "When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart."

This is what Job did, he could not sense God's presence, but he knew his character. He knew God's goodness, mercy, and love would never fail and he would never abandon him in the midst of his sorrows.

There are times when God will test our love and commitment to him. He knows the depth of our faith, and he wants us to know it as well. So, he hides because he wants us to seek him. He wants to know if we are just seeking after him for the many blessings he bestows, or if we are pursuing him because we genuinely want to know him and abide with him. Do we love him for what he does or because of who he is? He wants us to know that he is always faithful and good, even in the darkest of nights. He is there, even if we cannot feel him.

There is a story told from World War II when Jewish refugees were being hidden from the Gestapo in cellars in Cologne. They would have to hide in these dark cellars for many days, if not weeks, waiting to be moved to safety. On the wall of one of these cellars was found a beautiful poem reflecting their resilient faith during those dark days. The band Barlow Girl wrote a song based off that poem:

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?

Is there still faith in me to reach the end?

I'm feeling doubt, I'm losing faith,

But giving up would cost me everything.

So I'll stand in the pain and the silence,

And I'll speak to the dark night,

I believe in the sun, even when it's not shining.

I believe in love, even when I don't feel it.

I believe in God, even when He is silent.

It may feel as if God has abandoned you in the middle of tempest, but I assure you he is as near as he ever has been. He is at work, and you can trust him that he will produce something glorious through it.

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