Desperate Joy

I know very well what it feels like to be enslaved to an addiction. To feel trapped, bound, and unable to run, walk or even move. I would dig up some will power and manage to resist for a time, but the urges would always return, and I would find myself in the same old patterns time and time again. I was wrapped up in chains of sin and could not find a way to escape. It has taken years of work, but at last I have found some freedom and deliverance. I can look back now and see that while I was wrapped in chains, they were chains that I had forged myself. And while they were locked securely, I held the key, a key that had been given to me by the Lord. Those chains were in reality lies, deceptions and false beliefs about who I was. I had deep and damaging misconceptions about my identity. One of the keys I have found to unlock those chains has come through understanding my true identity in Christ. Satan's lies convinced me that I was not a true child of God, and I could not be a re...

One of the key struggles in recovery is related to our identity. In the thick of the addiction, it is all too easy to lose track of who we truly are and think only in terms of our failures and faults. "I am such a loser. I am so pathetic. If I were a real man (or woman, or Christian) I would be able to quit. If I were really a child of God, I could overcome this sin."  And on and on the voices of shame berate us. We struggle with the addiction for so long that we become convinced that is our identity now, we are addicts, that is who we are, and we cannot change. It is not that we are basically good, worthy people who struggle with an addiction, we believe that we are basically bad people, addicts, sinners, unworthy and unrighteous. As we work recovery and grow spiritually, we come to recognize these lies for what they are, and in turn, we learn the truth of our identity in Christ, which we touched on in our previous post. Instead of believing that our identity is primarily ...

  Many times, we believe that our struggles with habitual sin and addictions are a power struggle of some sort. We think we must be strong and have willpower, if we only had more self-control then we would be able to overcome. We discussed this in a previous post. The reality is that our conflicts are not a power struggle but a truth struggle. Addiction is about truth versus lies not strength versus strength. One of the most powerful truths I have found in my recovery journey is understanding the nature of my identity in Christ. The more I understand my position of power and authority in Christ, the more I can resist the temptations of the addiction. The more I have realized who I am in Christ, the more I have been able to combat the lies that contribute to my automatic thoughts and false beliefs. When the Devil attacks, one of the most common pressure points he targets is our identity. He convinces us that we are worthless and inadequate. He tells us that we are sinners, addic...

  Michael John Cusick has a great book on sex addiction and spirituality called Surfing for God .  In it he has a quote he attributes to G.K. Chesterton, "Every time a man knocks on the door of a brothel, he is really looking for God."  This ties into his title as well, every time we surf the internet for porn, we are really searching for God. Reading this came as a revelation to me.   If porn was just a bad habit, I should have been able to give it up without too much difficulty.  I have plenty of self-discipline and self-control in every other area, but when it came to porn, I had none.  That was because I was looking to it to satisfy longings that were so deep and profound, I didn't even know what they were or that I had them.  These were emotional and spiritual needs that had long been buried under years of sin and shame.  It took me years to identify what they were and find healthy ways to deal with them. Over the last few posts we have ...

  One of the basic misunderstandings we often have around addiction is that we believe it is a sort of power encounter.  We think that if our willpower is strong enough then we will be able to overcome the addiction and live a sober life.  For those of us who are Christians we believe that we have the power of God in us and it is the power of God that will overcome the power of the addiction.  While I believe this is true in essence, it does not play itself out like we imagine. We often have this image of David versus Goliath.  David had God's power and was able to smite the giant in the name of the Lord God of Israel.  Perhaps for David in that particular context that is how it played out, but typically that is now how God's power works in our lives and in our addictions. Overcoming addiction, habitual sins, or any demon that may be afflicting us is not a conflict of power, like an arm wrestling match.  It is a conflict of ideas, it is a battle for tr...