Practicing Discernment
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I grew up in a very strict, rigid, conservative Christian home. We had lots of rules. Many TV shows we did not watch, no rated "R" movies, no rock or popular music. Even modern Christian music was off limits. We had high standards for dress and behavior, and, of course, no smoking and drinking.
Most churches have standards of some form or another, and
many churches still hold to these kinds of strict standards. These rules may be
useful at times.
As young Christians many times we struggle to understand
what righteousness and holiness are all about. How do we live a holy life? What
does it mean to be righteous? Living a Christ-like life can be kind of vague,
ephemeral, or mystical, and we can't quite wrap our minds around it.
The Bible tells us to walk in the Spirit, but that seems
even more vague and mystical than being like Christ. At least in following
Christ's example we have the Gospels to look at.
What ends up happening is that we become uncomfortable with
these vague, indistinct directions, we don't know exactly what to do or how to
live our lives. Instead of patiently waiting on God and walking in the Spirit,
we look for rules to follow. We want quick fixes, shortcuts to spirituality
without having to patiently learn, mature and grow.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I see it as a mark
of immature spirituality. We haven't come to really know the heart and mind of
the Lord.
Rules also make the Christian life much simpler and more
straightforward. So, I have a list of things to do and not to do? Great, I can
do that. I can check off that list every day and feel good. I feel
self-righteous. I am following all the rules, and that means I am a good
Christian, right?
Again, this is not a bad place to begin our Christian
journey. But the goal is to cultivate a real relationship with Christ. Romantic
relationships typically begin with certain boundaries in place. We get together
at a certain time in a certain place, when the date is over, we go our separate
ways. We only call or text at certain times, we don't share certain things. We
avoid certain sensitive topics. A certain level of physical contact is
acceptable or not. But over time, we get to know each other more and more, and
many of those rules go away. As our understanding of the person grows, our love
grows, and we know what they like or dislike, and we avoid those things they
don't like, and we do those things they do like.
Most husbands do not have a notebook somewhere with a long
list of things that his wife does not like so he can avoid them, and then
another list of things she does like so he can focus on doing those things. He
doesn't have a checklist he goes down to make sure he is keeping his wife happy.
Husbands typically know their wives pretty well, and he can
allow his own thoughts and feelings toward his wife to guide him. He knows his
wife likes daisies and so he picks up a bouquet for her while he is out
shopping. He picks up his dirty socks off the floor of the bathroom because he
knows that bothers her. And so on. She becomes a presence in his mind that
influences his behavior throughout the day.
So, it goes with our walk with God. Early on, having a set
of rules and standards to follow can be a good and helpful thing. But just
because we follow rules does not mean we have a real, authentic walk with God,
it just means we are good at following rules.
As we walk with God, and abide in his presence, his Spirit
fills us and dwells in us, and becomes that same living presence in our hearts
and minds. We know when we are pleasing the him and when we are grieving
him. We know when we are walking in his
love or drifting away from him.
We do not abstain from worldly, fleshly, lustful things
because we have some rule that we got from a preacher, or that we read in
Scripture (though obeying Scripture is always a good idea), we avoid those
things because we love the Lord and we would not want to do anything that would
displease him. We walk closely with the Lord,
and we do not want anything to draw us away from him.
From the time I was a child, I knew the Lord and wanted to
please him and honor him with my life. As I grew into adulthood, I gradually
found that many of the rules I grew up with did not have much impact on my
spiritual journey. I could watch some "R" rated movies, maybe watch
some "taboo" TV shows, and listen to some popular music here and
there. Sometimes I could tell when something was a temptation, and was pulling
me away from the Lord, and other times it seemed like it did not matter too
much.
I try to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy
Spirit. One thing that bothers me now,
that probably did not bother me as much in the past is blasphemy. If I am
watching a show and they are being blasphemous or otherwise disrespectful of my
Lord and Christianity in general, I feel disturbed and grieved. Even spending
time with people who habitually take the Lord's name in vain troubles me.
I love the Lord, and when I hear people dishonoring him, it
upsets me.
Many times, these are otherwise good people who are fun to
spend time with, or these shows are very funny or otherwise entertaining, but
if they are dishonoring my Lord, I will pass. I can find something else to do
that does not hinder my relationship with Jesus Christ.
Blasphemy is offensive to my Lord, and it should be
offensive to me as well.
As I have grown spiritually what I have found is that the
Holy Spirit has gradually changed my desires over time. The old, fleshly,
worldly desires have been burned away, and new, righteous and holy desires have
taken their place. I do not need some authority, church, priest or pastor to
tell me what is right and wrong. I have learned to listen to the voice of the
Holy Spirit, and my attitudes and inclinations have shifted. More and more I
simply do not desire those unclean things.
Purity is not about adhering to a set of rules, but is more
about maintaining a close walk with God. It is about my relationship with God. I
do not want to involve myself in anything that might damage or threaten that. If
there is anything that disturbs my spiritual connection, then that is something
I will resist.
Sex is a beautiful and sacred thing that God has given us
for our own good and for his glory. This is another thing that society, and
especially the media, love to defame and degrade. So much of humor these days
centers on sex, it is treated as a joke, a punch line. It is a commodity or a
fun pass time. When people and shows want to cheapen sex, I find myself lose
interest very quickly. All the innuendo, double-entendres, and pornographic
bedroom scenes and themes that fills so much of media I have little patience
for, much less when shows try to normalize or celebrate homosexuality and
transgenderism. This content only serves
to stir up my fleshly lust while quenching the Spirit.
I am sure this seems Puritanical and needlessly strict to
some, but this is where I am. These are not rules that anybody is telling me I
should adhere to, but as I walk with God, study and meditate on his Word, these
are the values I want to live out.
I have no desire to tell you or anyone else how to live,
what standards and rules to live by; this is my personal journey. As I have
grown closer to the Lord, I find these desires shifting, changing, gradually
over time. I will say that we should all follow God's Word and be led by the
Holy Spirit. We should love the Lord with our entire being, and that love
should guide our behavior and lifestyle.
This is easy to say and hard to do. I am certainly not the
best example. I fail as often as not, but I want to continue to learn and grow
and gain more spiritual discernment one day at a time. I want to abide in
Christ, and anything that would pull me away from him, I want to avoid. I want
to love what God loves and hate what he hates.
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