The Wonder of Christ

 

I received a letter recently from a good friend of mine in Virginia who is a new father of a toddler son.  He described playing a game with his son where he would bounce a ball off his head and every time he did the boy would giggle and laugh with delight.  Over and over again the dad would bounce the ball off his head and over and over again the boy would laugh with delight.  I am sure he could perform this trick a hundred times and a hundred times his son would laugh and say, "Again!"

Joy is the birthright of children and serves as a blessing and a lesson for all of us.  Children delight in the world because for them it is filled with wonder.  Everything they experience is new and exciting.  The world is filled with mystery and magic.  Every insect is a mythical beast, and every excursion a grand adventure.  

These childhood feelings of wonder and joy are rooted in a desire for novelty.  We all want to have novel experiences, to try new things, taste new dishes and drinks, and travel to exotic places and meet interesting people.  This desire at its root is a good thing, as all human desires are.  But because we live in a fallen world, a world broken by sin, these good desires get mutated into all manner of unrighteousness.  

My addiction to pornography was driven in part by this craving for novelty.  I would go back to the internet time and time again seeking for something new and different, something fun and exciting.  I was trying to recapture the thrill of when my dad would toss me into the air and I would laugh until I was breathless and somehow still manage to cry out "Again!"  Again and again I would search out new genres, new niches until I found myself compulsively looking at some of the most evil and wicked material available, which is rightly considered illegal.  Now I am paying the price in a Federal Prison.  I would act out again and again trying to capture that bliss I felt as a child, the wonder and rush when everything was new and exciting.  I was chasing smoke and shadows, seeking satisfaction in something that only made my cravings worse.  Like a weed, my desire for novelty had grown out of bounds, and was pulling me deeper and deeper into the pit of darkness.

In Ecclesiastes, we find an autobiographical sketch of a wealthy king, probably Solomon, who had access to everything the world had to offer.  He could satisfy any craving he had.  Every appetite that presented itself he sought to fulfill.  He had women.  He had entertainment.  He had it all.  Look at his timeless words from Ecclesiastes 2(ESV):

1. I said in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself."  But behold, this also was vanity.

2. I said of laughter, "It is mad," and of pleasure, "What use is it?"

3. I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine - my heart still guiding me with wisdom - and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life.

4. I made great works.  I built houses and planted vineyards for myself.

...

8. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces.  I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man.

9. So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem.  Also my wisdom remained with me. 

10. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.  I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil.

11. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. 

Solomon had every opportunity to satisfy his desire for novelty, but in the end he said it was all empty and worthless.  Chasing after wind. 

That's because nothing in this world can ultimately satisfy our craving for novelty.

It is a itch nothing in this world can scratch.  God has designed it so.  Augustine, the early church father, wrote this, "Thou madest us for thyself, and our hearts are restless until we rest in thee."  There is only one way to fully satisfy our longing for novelty and that is through Christ.

In John 15:11 Jesus says this (KJV), "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."  Christ is the only one that can satisfy us completely and give us bottomless joy.  Indeed, He is the only one who can because He is the only infinite being.  We can spend all of eternity enjoying Christ and every day we will find a new dimension of glory we have never known before.  

The problem is that our sins weigh heavy on our hearts and our eyes are clouded with guilt and shame and we cannot feel this wonder and joy.  But through the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ we can be restored.  We can be cleansed and have our innocence restored.  But we must make a choice.  We must forsake our sins and follow Christ.  We cannot be fully satisfied in Christ if we are finding satisfaction in someone or something else besides Christ.  When our hearts belong to Christ our eyes are opened once more to the glory and the wonder around us.  Our reality becomes a much more beautiful place when we trade our compulsions for Christ. 

The Psalmist touches on this in Psalm 19:1(KJV) "The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth his handiwork."  He stepped out under the starry vault and felt wonder, beauty and glory, not just at the glittering band of the Milky Way expanding overhead, but because he knew the God that created it.  His eyes were opened and he could see clearly, his childhood wonder was restored because he was looking at the world through the prism of his relationship with God.  

Through Christ our desire for novelty is fully satisfied.  In the stillness, we know His presence and we feel awe.  The sun shines on our faces and we feel His love.  All nature sings of His glory.  We find wonder and beauty in the world just as we did as children, but not only that, our wonder exceeds even that of a child because the wonder we experience is the wonder of relationship.  We know the the God who created all this.

If my heart is weighed down by guilt, shame and sin, I cannot sense that wonder and joy.  If I just finished looking at porn and I step outside to gaze on the glory of the night sky, I may feel a twinkle of glory, but mostly I will feel guilt.  Guilt because I traded my relationship with the Almighty God, my Savior and Redeemer, for mundane and worthless things.  But if I can gaze upon the shining vault of heaven with a heart unclouded by lust, greed, pride or any other vice, then my soul will spontaneously erupt with glee.  My rapturous heart will be drawn to celebrate the wonder of God who could make such a marvelous universe.  And for a time my longing for novelty and wonder will be satisfied.  But God does not allow a single experience to satisfy because He wants me to return to him time and time again.  So when that desire for novelty comes again, as it must, again I can turn my gaze to the heavens and cry out, "Daddy, do it again!"