Marriage as a Message of Reconciliation

 

If you have ever read the prophetic books of the Old Testament (and you should!) you will find that God often calls on his prophets to become living object lessons.  He has them preach powerful messages at times and at others he has them act out the lessons that his people needed to hear.  There are many dramatic examples of this, but the most dramatic is probably found in the book of Hosea.

"And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord." (Hosea 1:2)

This is bit mind-boggling, but here we see God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute.  Nothing would have been more abhorrent to the mind of the God-fearing Jew, but Hosea responds in faith-filled obedience.  He goes out and finds a woman named Gomer and to make his wife.  We are not clear on all the details here.  It may be that he found her while she was a prostitute and married her.  It may also have been he married her while she was still honorable, and she left him to become a prostitute.  It also appears that the children she would bear may or may not have been Hosea's legitimate progeny.

Hosea 3:1-3 carries on the story, “Then said the Lord unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.  So, I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:  And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee."

As God predicted, Gomer abandoned Hosea and ran off to become a prostitute.  Again, we lack some details, but it looks like she became indebted or even enslaved and Hosea had to pay a ransom to get her back as his wife.  He was commanded to love Gomer with a faithful love, even when she was unfaithful.  She brazenly betrayed him, but he still sought her out and paid whatever price to make her his wife once more.  The marriage of Gomer and Hosea was meant to be a picture of God's relationship with Israel, and as such, provides us with an example of what marriage should look like for us today.

In the previous posts we have looked at a parable in the book of Ezekiel where the nation of Israel is described as an abandoned infant that God adopts, raises up into maturity, makes into a beautiful woman decked in majestic garments and jewels, and who then becomes his bride.  But in spite of all the wonderful things God had done for Israel, there is turn, “But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was." (Ezekiel 16:15)

The nation of Israel turned away from God and prostituted herself through idolatry.  The passage goes on to describe in some detail how she did this.  Because of her betrayal, God poured out his judgment and wrath on her.  But this was not because God hated her, or wanted to make her suffer unnecessarily, rather, he wanted to bring her to repentance and see their relationship restored.  Verse 42 records, "So will I make my fury toward thee to rest, and my jealousy shall depart from thee, and I will be quiet, and will be no more angry."

But God does not stop there, "Nevertheless I will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth and I will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant.  Then thou shalt remember thy ways, and be ashamed... And I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord:" (vv. 60-62)

From beginning to end God knew that Israel would depart from him, fail him, and betray him, and still he chose to love her.  He made an eternal, unbreakable vow with her, a sacred covenant.  He would take the hurt and harm into himself, forgive her, redeem her, and restore her.  She started out in the garbage heap, God made her his beautiful bride, and then she turned away from him and went back to the garbage heap.  But God went back to the garbage heap to woo her back to himself. 

The way Hosea related to Gomer and how God related to Israel is how God relates with the church and with each of us.  He loves us with a faithful, steadfast love.  Even if we betray him, dishonor him and rebel against him, still he loves us and seeks to restore and renew us.  No matter our sin and corruption, he is always pursuing us, wanting nothing more for us than to love him and for us to allow him to love us.

This is the message that God wants to communicate through our sexuality.  Our marriages should sing of his forgiveness, redemption, and love.  Sex is meant to declare the eternal reality of God's unending grace and affection.  Husbands and wives should always seek to honor, love, and respect each other.  Marriage and sex should be a vessel of forgiveness and restoration. 

Jesus did make allowances for divorce in the case of infidelity, but Jesus made it clear that this was because of the hardness of our hearts, "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." (Matthew 19:8) The original design of marriage is for the man and wife to be unified until they were separated by death, "What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder."(v.6) God separated himself from Israel for a time, but he still sought reconciliation.  God was not concerned with his own pain or feelings of betrayal, he was only concerned with doing what is best for Israel, and for all of us.  He did not prioritize his own needs being met or being satisfied in the relationship.  His only focus was on the best interest of his bride.  He nurtured her and cared for her.  He healed her, beautified her, and made her glorious.  When she betrayed him, he did not become angry or resentful, but rather worked for restoration.

This is a hard thing.  Betrayal cuts to the heart, and I think this is why Jesus allowed for divorce.  But I think if we are truly filled with the Holy Spirit and have drunk deep of God's grace and forgiveness, we can find the grace to forgive others and find restoration as well. 

I have been a part of a Twelve Step group for sex addiction for many years and I have heard men tell stories of how their wives have forgiven their infidelity and offer to help in the healing process.  There is a great deal of pain that has to be worked through, and at times both husbands and wives wonder if it will be worth it in the end, but if they stick with it and work through their issues, the marriage becomes that much more strong and beautiful than it ever was before.  That is a love as strong as death that Song of Solomon speaks about (Song of Solomon 8:6).

God's plan for our sexuality is to shine the light of his love into this world.  This is a type of love that endures failure and betrayal and always seeks forgiveness and reconciliation.  It we truly want the world to know the love of God, these are the relationships we will seek to have.