God Draws Near

 

God Draws Near to Adam and Eve in the Garden

ALBERT / DVRER / NORICVS / FACIEBAT / AD · 1504
[Albrecht Dürer of Nuremberg made this 1504]
Signed and dated on plate
Albrecht Dürer, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

At times it is difficult, if not impossible, to really comprehend the great heart of our God for sinners such as us. He loves us deeply and passionately and there is no measure to how expansive that love is. If we have caught even the smallest glimmer of his infinite love, we would never cease from praising him and worshiping him. His love would fill our hearts with such joy that we would rejoice in him all our days and for all eternity.

What so often prevents us from feeling that love is our own sins. In the dark days of my porn addiction, it was nearly impossible for me to feel God's love. And when other people would express their affection for me, I doubted it, since they did not really know me and how corrupt I really was. My uncleanness weighed me down and kept me from connecting with God and with others in any meaningful way.

When Adam and Eve sinned and ate the forbidden fruit, their hearts and minds became blackened with guilt and shame. They suddenly felt unworthy and inadequate to walk with God and abide in his presence, so they made aprons of fig leaves and hid in the bushes in a misguided attempt to hide their shame.

This is what sin does to us as well, it dips our hearts into shame and causes us to want to hide from God and from other people. We pull into ourselves and shut out the people who can help us the most. We put on fig leaves and hide behind bushes of our careers, hobbies, and status. We smile and tell everyone that everything is fine. We play at being strong meanwhile our inner world is collapsing in on itself. We mask ourselves with false piety and religious activities. We distract ourselves with entertainment, food, and addictions.

But even while Adam and Eve were trying to hide from God (as if they could succeed at this), God was walking through the Garden searching for them. His great heart was with them every moment in their temptation and rebellion, and it ached to know that they had opened the door to chaos and pain because of their sin. In spite of their disobedience, he longed to come near to them once more.

Sin is our great sickness, and we have this preconceived notion that if we have such uncleanness in our lives then God cannot abide with us. We believe that he will not draw near to us if we have been disobedient, but the exact opposite is true. Just as a loving mother feels the sickness and pain of her child as much, if not more than, the child, so God feels our sickness and pain and draws near. He presses in closer to us to bring us healing and cleansing. That is, if we will allow him to. "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit," it says in Psalm 34:18.

Don't get me wrong, God is a holy God and will not tolerate even the smallest molecule of sin, but we also live in a post-Crucifixion and resurrection reality. If we have embraced Christ as our Lord and Savior, his precious blood cleanses all our sins, and we stand before him spotless and pure.

But as much as we may feel our sins weighing us down and pulling us away from God, the reality is that in the midst of our sin, sorrow and suffering, God draws even closer. It is our pain that makes his bottomless love well up and pour out even more mercy and grace. Our agony draws out even more of his love, and the deeper our angst the deeper his compassion.

Psalm 138:6 reflects this truth well, "Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off."  If we believe that we are something when we are not, if our hearts are filled with arrogance and pride, this pushes the Lord away. Like bees are drawn to nectar, so our humility and sin and brokenness draws the Lord. But just as smoke will drive bees away, so our pride, arrogance and self-will push him away.

God cannot stand it when we believe that we are something that we are not, but nothing fills him with affection and compassion more than when we feel the weight of our sin and brokenness and cry out to him for help. He is always right there, just a step away, waiting to lean and give us the grace we so desperately need to make it through the day.

In our pain and desperation, it may feel as though God could not be further away, but God's Word assures us, that it is at those times he is nearest.

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