Working Your Way Through Recovery
Recovery takes work. This is an uncomfortable reality for us to accept.
Once we hit rock bottom and decide that we need to change,
we often think that the process should be simple and easy. We made the decision
to get sober, the rest should take care of itself, right?
That would be nice, but while becoming an addict is the
easiest thing in the world, getting sober is one of the most difficult. It
takes a tremendous amount of time and effort. Just as the addiction was a
central part of our lives, to become sober, recovery must become a major part
of our lives.
Recovery is not just something we do for a short while and
then we are done, we don't just finish the Twelve Steps and call it quits. It
becomes a lifestyle, a part of our daily routine. It is less like getting a
cast for a broken leg and more like taking regular doses of insulin because we
are type I diabetics.
This regular practice of recovery will look different for
every addict, but usually involves attending weekly Twelve Step meetings, phone
calls, spiritual practice and some form of Step work.
When I first got going with Step work, I was doing it about
once a week. My sponsor recommended working through "A Gentle Path Through
The Twelve Steps" by Patrick Carnes which was a great way to get started. I
managed to work my way through all the Steps using that book, though I skipped
over Step Five, which I came back to a bit later.
Later, I joined a group that suggested to all its members
that we do fifteen minutes of Step work every day. That discipline appealed to
me, and I have made that a regular part of my daily routine ever since. My
sponsor in the new group then recommended I go through the Steps using
"The Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Guide" which was also a helpful
tool. I have used other workbooks along the way for my daily Step work, not
always Twelve Step related, but always related to recovery in some way. Sometimes these are more spiritual, or more
therapeutic in their approach. Writing and journaling are important tools for
my program, and usually these workbooks give me questions and other prompts I
can write about.
If I am not going through a workbook, then I will take that
time to read recovery literature of some sort.
There is more and more awareness and understanding around sex addiction
in recent days and there are a number of books out there on the topic now.
For many men I know who have finished the Twelve Steps,
their Step work is helping other men work through the Steps. They continue to
carry the message as Step Twelve encourages us to do.
Working recovery is much like living a healthy lifestyle in
other areas. The people that have the best results managing their weight and
eating a nutritious diet are those people who make the mental and emotional
shift to determine that these things are now going to be a part of their everyday
life. They make purposeful, long-term changes to their life. They do not just
do a fad or crash diet for a few weeks or months, but they change what they eat
and what they do every day.
Most of us come into recovery ready to make major changes
and do whatever is necessary to get clean and sober. Even though we have this willingness, it is
still a slow process. We make many leaps and bounds early on, but many times we
are still in denial in certain areas, and it takes more time in the program to
break through these areas. The more we work, the more these blind spots become
apparent to us.
Recovery is a process of learning and growing. It is also
developing new skills and daily habits; it is a new approach to life. It takes
time and work to learn and develop these skills, and having a regular program
of Step work is an important part of this process.
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